When discussing the type of ceremony with my couples, I usually get three types of responses to the question: "What type of ceremony are you looking for?"
The first type of response is a quick, blank look at each other, and then "we really not sure" or "something quick and easy." We then have a conversation where I describe the short and classic commitment ceremony through a more elaborate ceremony with singers, poetry readings, and long pledges of love forever. They usually settle somewhere in the middle of all that.
The second response is the description of an idea and I take those thoughts and pertinent data and create a draft that the couple can work from. Depending on how much they want to include in the ceremony itself, this can be a collaborative effort where the couple has much of and the final say on what the ceremony contains.
The third is from the very focused couple who know exactly what it is that they want from the ceremony. They have done research, attended weddings (or watched them on TV and movies) to come up with exactly what they want in the ceremony from the vows, to the additional elements like lighting of a unity candle, including Grandparents, or a wine ceremony that fully incorporates both families.
My recommendation is that the couple do some research until they have a good idea of what ceremony is right for them. I think it's only right since this is a major part of the wedding, but often given the least amount of consideration! How many hours have you spent (or will you spend) on picking a dress, venue, caterer, decor, cake, and all the other elements that will make up your wedding day? Don't shortchange the ceremony! Give it due consideration, create something that is personal and meaningful to you, then go have your fantastic party!
When it comes right down to it, the ceremony will set the stage for the rest of your event. If you only spend 5 minutes on it, what does that really say about your level of commitment? Sure, you will be married at the end of it all - but given the reason for the ceremony, it should be given as much effort as the other elements that make up your perfect day.
I have a penchant for the theatrical, so I lean heavily on the movies, theater, and television when picking out elements that I want in the ceremony to convey who we are as a couple. Todays couples have a plethora of examples from which to choose. Does that mean you have to replicate a ceremony exactly as it was portrayed on TV? Of course not! But, you can combine elements of each that you really like and speak to you as a couple.
On those long winter nights, when you have the time, flip through Netflix or some TV shows you've recorded and jot down ideas of what you'd like to include in your wedding ceremony. It will be well worth your time and effort. After you do that, your meeting with your Officiant will be fruitful and provide a very good idea of what you really want in your ceremony. You'll be glad you took the time to research it.